With both Valentine's Day and Singles Awareness Day approaching,
you may want a date to an upcoming event but don't want to ask people
you already know. In honor of the third week of February being
International Flirting Week, strike up a conversation with a stranger
across the room or an apartment neighbor whom you find attractive. You
never know where it might lead when you follow the steps below to
flirting like a pro.
Seem approachable.
"Approachable" does not mean you have to wear the most expensive clothes or turn your purse label outward so everyone can see it; instead, it means seeming clean, friendly and down-to-earth. Most people value confidence and a sense of humor over any other trait - just don't let that confidence come across as cockiness.
Mind your reputation.
If you're at a bar, go easy on the drinks if you want to meet someone in particular, and don't let your apartment become a swinging door for dates if you want to meet your neighbor across the hall. Even in the short term, your reputation precedes you and may affect how others perceive you.
Read body language.
From across the room or when you pass someone while walking, you can tell their general feelings toward you. If their stance is open, feet pointing toward you, and if they're looking at you constantly, making eye contact with you, these are all good signs, but they're not all-inclusive. If you see one positive body language sign, look for others to confirm that this person might be interested in talking to you more.
Notice traits about that person.
You'll have to talk to this person eventually, and you'll need something to talk about. Observe what that person is drinking, what they have been interested in, what you see them doing and how you see them reacting to situations they're in. These will give you topic gems to be able to talk to them later.
Initiate a conversation.
Don't go for cliches, such as "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" and "Nice weather we're having, huh?" as these are generally closed-ended questions. Instead, say something clever and/or complimentary but not cheesy. In other words, don't watch romantic comedies to inspire you for what to say.
Be cool.
Above all, don't put too much pressure on yourself or the other person to respond. Chemistry is something that naturally happens, and if you're sweating like crazy or at a loss of something to say because you're so nervous, the other person will never get to know the real you. Don't expect every flirting attempt to turn into marriage; instead, look at it as more practice for better flirting.
Be yourself.
Having said that about minding your reputation, this does not include squelching your personality or accent and worrying your hair is not the right color or your laugh is too loud. These are all things that make you uniquely you, and you should never hide them from anyone.
Open up - but not too much.
As you continue to talk with this person, he or she will reveal clues about their lifestyle and preferences, and you should reciprocate, gradually. This is not the time to talk about exes, negativity or even politics, and you'll want to leave a little mystery so they want to hear more.
Show common courtesy.
Show this person your complete attention, but don't stare. Avoid checking your phone or any televisions around for the game score. Laugh at their jokes, listen to what they say and enjoy getting to know this person.
Get next steps.
Just like a job interview, there's a natural ending to flirting, typically because the other person has something else planned. If you feel comfortable, get the person's phone number or email address, and if you're feeling the conversation has gone particularly well, arrange a date with that person. If the person isn't interested, it's okay - there are plenty of people to flirt with. Be polite either way, and if you make a connection, congratulations. That wasn't that hard, was it?
Seem approachable.
"Approachable" does not mean you have to wear the most expensive clothes or turn your purse label outward so everyone can see it; instead, it means seeming clean, friendly and down-to-earth. Most people value confidence and a sense of humor over any other trait - just don't let that confidence come across as cockiness.
Mind your reputation.
If you're at a bar, go easy on the drinks if you want to meet someone in particular, and don't let your apartment become a swinging door for dates if you want to meet your neighbor across the hall. Even in the short term, your reputation precedes you and may affect how others perceive you.
Read body language.
From across the room or when you pass someone while walking, you can tell their general feelings toward you. If their stance is open, feet pointing toward you, and if they're looking at you constantly, making eye contact with you, these are all good signs, but they're not all-inclusive. If you see one positive body language sign, look for others to confirm that this person might be interested in talking to you more.
Notice traits about that person.
You'll have to talk to this person eventually, and you'll need something to talk about. Observe what that person is drinking, what they have been interested in, what you see them doing and how you see them reacting to situations they're in. These will give you topic gems to be able to talk to them later.
Initiate a conversation.
Don't go for cliches, such as "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" and "Nice weather we're having, huh?" as these are generally closed-ended questions. Instead, say something clever and/or complimentary but not cheesy. In other words, don't watch romantic comedies to inspire you for what to say.
Be cool.
Above all, don't put too much pressure on yourself or the other person to respond. Chemistry is something that naturally happens, and if you're sweating like crazy or at a loss of something to say because you're so nervous, the other person will never get to know the real you. Don't expect every flirting attempt to turn into marriage; instead, look at it as more practice for better flirting.
Be yourself.
Having said that about minding your reputation, this does not include squelching your personality or accent and worrying your hair is not the right color or your laugh is too loud. These are all things that make you uniquely you, and you should never hide them from anyone.
Open up - but not too much.
As you continue to talk with this person, he or she will reveal clues about their lifestyle and preferences, and you should reciprocate, gradually. This is not the time to talk about exes, negativity or even politics, and you'll want to leave a little mystery so they want to hear more.
Show common courtesy.
Show this person your complete attention, but don't stare. Avoid checking your phone or any televisions around for the game score. Laugh at their jokes, listen to what they say and enjoy getting to know this person.
Get next steps.
Just like a job interview, there's a natural ending to flirting, typically because the other person has something else planned. If you feel comfortable, get the person's phone number or email address, and if you're feeling the conversation has gone particularly well, arrange a date with that person. If the person isn't interested, it's okay - there are plenty of people to flirt with. Be polite either way, and if you make a connection, congratulations. That wasn't that hard, was it?
