When it comes to what a man is going to be like or what a woman is
going to be like, we all have a set of expectations. And although these
can be consciously known, they are very often out of one's conscious
awareness. So while a woman may be unaware of what their expectations
are of men, they can find out in another way.
And the way they
will typically find out is through the kind of men they attract into
their lives and the kind of men they are attracted to. The general
experiences that they have with men will reveal what they expect.
Random Occurrences
It
would be natural to think that all men are the same or that one has no
control over the kind of men that one comes into contact with, but these
expectations have incredible power.
If one expects something, it
will mean that they will pull it into their lives. Because this is not
simply a passive process where one is observing what is showing up. What
is showing up is actually the result of what is being asked for; the
challenge is that this form of communication is often going on out of
one's conscious awareness.
Relationships
And the kind of
relationships that a woman has with men is going to be where they
receive feedback about what they expect. This can relate to: family,
colleagues, managers, friends and lovers for example.
Each of
these areas of relationships can have a big impact on a women's life.
And although they are all important and play a part in a women's life;
the most important area will often relate to the kind of lovers they
attract.
Higher Expectations
As this is often a foundation
of any women's life and the area where they will be the most emotionally
connected to a man and have the highest expectations; the rest will
generally not be as important. They will still have an impact of course,
but while a woman may consciously expect to be with a man that is
respectful and loving for instance, they are likely to expect a lot less
when it comes to a colleague, manager or a family member.
And as a
result of expecting less, when these other relationships are not as
fulfilling, it is not going to be as influential. For if a woman has a
relationship with a man that is fulfilling the relationships with men
that are not fulfilling are more likely to be dismissed and not taken
personally.
But if a woman has not got a solid relationship with a
lover or even with her father, brother or male friends, then there is
not going to be as much to fall back on when they experience men in
general as being unpleasant.
Expectations
Now, for some
women their expectations of men will be fairly high and this could then
lead to a woman having experiences with men that are fulfilling and
rewarding. There will be other women who have fairly average
expectations and their relationships may then be somewhat fulfilling and
fairly rewarding.
And then there will be women who have extremely
low expectations of men. This means that their experiences with mean
are inevitably going to be unfulfilling and without much reward.
Two Levels
However,
as some women will know - just because they have high expectations, it
doesn't necessarily mean that the men they attract will match up. And
this is the result of what is going on at a deeper level and how these
two aspects can be in conflict with each other.
So there is what
is consciously expected and this is often going to be the ideal and what
a women truly wants to experience when it comes to men.
And at a
deeper level there is another set of expectations and these can not only
be in conflict with what is actually wanted, but they also have the
biggest influence.
The Ego Mind
These expectations are often
unknown at a conscious level, but they will be classed as familiar and
therefore safe to the ego mind. And this means that they will be what
one feels comfortable with and that is regardless of whether they are
functional or healthy expectations,
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